Britney Spears, who announced her pregnancy last month, has been on a posting spree on Instagram, sharing details of her life and journey with fans. The singing icon, who in November came out of a controversial guardianship overseen by her father Jamie Spears, has drafted a powerful note about how he made her feel over the years. Sharing a gorgeous throwback picture from her teenage years, Britney Spears spoke about how she went from feeling beautiful at the age of 13 to ugly as she grew older, due to her father’s words and actions. In the caption, the singer accused Jamie Spears of ruining the “deep seed” of her existence.
In the long caption – interspersed with a variety of emoticons – Britney Spears explained, “13 was the age I actually felt kinda pretty. I think my rebellious days were due to the fact that I always had to be perfect and pretty, then I went to the extremes and went wild and naughty but in those rebellious days I honestly still felt…,” adding that things changed with the conservatorship.
“One thing the conservatorship did to me and one of the things that hurt me the most is that I was always being told I was fat and never good enough. My dad always made me feel like I had to try, try, try. Big time. He ruined the deep seed of my existence, the seed that made me feel beautiful like when I was 13, my confidence, my swag, my inner dialogue and yes even my sex life, all completely ruined,” the Oops!… I Did It Again singer said. “He made me feel ugly, therefore I was.”
Speaking about how it affected her, Britney Spears added, “Trust me, feeling pretty is a whole different world. I know because I’ve witnessed both. If that makes some people feel uncomfortable – good. Uncomfortable conversation is great.”
Talking about how she feels now, the pop star added, “The moment the conservatorship was over, I felt so good about myself. And guess what, I stopped trying so damn hard and yes I entered a whole new world. I felt beautiful, therefore I was. I might feel that way but the psychological damage from my dad and every single person who went along with it will always be there.”
Britney Spears concluded by saying, “What you think, therefore you are. I kinda feel 13 again.”
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Britney Spears, who began as a child star, rose to superstardom as a singer. However, her rise to fame was coupled with mental health struggles and erratic public behaviour. She has previously been married to Jason Allen Alexander and Kevin Federline. She has two sons with Kevin Federline. Britney Spears is now engaged to boyfriend Sam Asghari. The couple is expecting their first child together.